Being from somewhere else, you tend to see things differently.
The ‘International Express’ is an ex-pat weekly paper from the UK. One of its ongoing feature has stories of Brits who live aboard and their experiences in tackling the foreign culture they reside in.
One such ex-pat women living in the US, appeared to suffer on going ‘trauma’ after an interaction at the US Postal Service.
Basically, she hadn’t put the return address in the top corner, having put the senders address (the British way) on the back of a package going aboard. Admittedly, a simple mistake to make.
She went on to recollect how she received ‘unwarranted’ attention from a Gas Attendant while filling up her car one day.
Yet, as her American husband went on to educated her on the novel concept of ‘Full Service’ at the Gas (Petrol) station, it was pretty obvious how self-centered and unaware of her surroundings she seemed.
It’s just not Canadian……
It isn’t easy making the transition from one culture to another. We share the same language but there’s a whole load of culture to catch up when you first arrive away from the land of your birth.
I’d like to think I’m pretty much acclimatised after 20 years.
But life still surprises. I can still be feisty if I think my own moral code is being transgressed.
Which in Britain is part of our daily interaction. Just look at Corrie Street. Yet, having lived in Canada for so long, I have learnt to live with my passive and at times, passive aggressive compatriots. Wisdom over time, has taught me to either pick my battles or let it slide having weighted up the ‘is it worth it?’ dilemma.
Just in the last couple of weeks, a friend has felt it is entirely OK to text her opinion on the supposed ‘imbalance of responsibility’ with my partner. Yet, while keeping my own opinions on her own life to myself – (its her life!), I know if I was to bring this supposed text in person – it would just not be Canadian.
Canadian tend to shy away from confrontation. This has also happened in a professional capacity, to such an extend that I had to glean just exactly why someone was so pissed off at me, from three other people. The person in authority I apparently transgressed, couldn’t have a one to one conversation with me.
It is easier to direct frustration to other parties, than confronting the person themselves. Good friends hold a mirror to ourselves when we most need it. Recently, one such friend was correct when they observed I was a tad anxious.
But I wonder if that anxiety manifested living in a culture of unrealistic expectations. As we carry on our daily lives we constantly present each other these supposed positive ‘masks’ of ourselves. ‘How are you?’ ‘Oh great, super!’
Having buried those opinions and comments deep down for the sake of being civil with others, can that develop into nervousness and uncertainty?
I’m increasingly hesitant having lived for two decades within this west coast Canadian culture, to be as opinionated on matters happening in the land of my birth. As I look way from the outside towards British society, I no longer have a very true sense of what it is to be British, living in Britain today.
Yet, I was actually shocked by some of the opinions of someone who I went to high school with over 25 years ago, still living in my home town.
And all because of an innocent call of support for……..George Micheal!
‘…a vile disgusting man!’
I posted a YouTube link on my Facebook wall where solo singing artist George Micheal paid tribute to Amy Winehouse.
I thought it was beautiful and moving in its simplicity.
So I was a little surprised to see a return comment stating ‘He is such a vile disgusting man’.
My friend, when pushed defended their comment, stated that this was due to his attitude to ‘relationships, sex, his superiority complex and his hugely inflated ego’.
I had to reply when they concluded: ‘If I or any of my gay and lesbian friends did half of what he has done we would be banged up.‘
(He had just recently served 4 weeks, fined and banned for 5 years from driving being caught driving under the influence.)
In effect, my friend concluded that being a celebrity in the public eye, George had a convenient ‘out’ card for his inappropriate behavior over the years.
It seems I was conversing with someone who had reverted into their parents. This high school friend was espousing views on some one who is gay having admitted to struggling with depression for most of his life.
Facebook has turned into a time machine were I’m talking to people from the 70’s…… The face of Britain today? – ‘ I am far from a prude…’ or just a relic of the past?
‘Get it real black people!’
But a recent story still confirmed that my own roots still can be right.
Pauline Pearce, 45 is a jazz singing Grandmother, who was so disgusted by what she witnessed on her doorstep during the recent London Riots that she made a very impassioned speech at her own neighbors to ‘Get it real black people!’
When it was easier and safer not to make a stand, she displayed bravery in the face of the turmoil and violence by so many around her.
Hear her impassioned speech caught on cell phone here, while her neighbors rioted around her……
Of course, nationality and culture are just two aspects to how we interact and see each other.
But it seems pretty obvious that compassion and cooler heads should be universal, regardless where we live or who we are.
In the meantime,
peaaacccceeeeeee out sisters
skinnyscronnybrit.com 